They can't shake the images from their minds.
Bodies and blood in a sea of chaos.
Off-duty Orlando police Officer James Hyland was working private security the morning of June 12 when he heard the call over his radio.
He drove his pickup truck into the parking lot as terrified patrons spilled out of Pulse nightclub about 2 a.m. He loaded the wounded into his truck, turning it into an improvised ambulance for fellow officers to bring victims to the hospitals, before going into the club to extract more people.
Hyland has seen carnage as an military police officer, but the images of bodies scattered on a dance floor still haunt him.
"It's in your own backyard, you are not going to the fight. The fight has [been] brought to you."
Everyone wants to talk to the first responders about it. What was it like to rush into an active shooting while others were desperately trying to get out? Family members worry if they're OK. They retell the stories over and over and reassure loved ones. But the only ones they can really talk to about what happened are those who also responded.
"You can only explain so much without actually being there." Orlando firefighter and paramedic Joshua Granada told CNN.